EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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