I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize