but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
FUCK WHALES
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize