i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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