I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
