i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
