he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
