dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
