Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
