did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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