There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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