dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
