She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
