I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
