grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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