You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
