Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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