if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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