OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
