When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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