A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
bring money and cleavage
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
