I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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