I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you had me at cake vodka
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
