With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
