She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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