I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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