I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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