shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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