I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
