you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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