i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My ATM looks so different sober.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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