i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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