What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
