I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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