Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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