My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
