i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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