i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
