absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We have started to decorate penises.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
