I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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