Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Randomize
