just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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