Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
