dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
