What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
