Little spoons don't ask big questions
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
