so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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