I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just gift wrapped bread.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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