Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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