can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
