You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
