and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dignity is for republicans.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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