I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
