Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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