This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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