she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
