the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
