break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
