I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
