you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
