K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
