We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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