Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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