I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
