the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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