i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
