Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
