went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
