just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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