Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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