there's paper in my vomit.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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