let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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