okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
